The Balance

Source: Paul Hanna, PhD Researcher, Graduate Junction member , Added By:

'I chose not to choose life, I chose something else...'

I feel that there are a number of 'wisdoms' that should be shared between the post- graduate community including issues around 'Hitting the first brick wall' or 'The trials and tribulations of external funding for field trips' to name but a few. However, my contribution will focus on the difficulties faced when negotiating a 'work/life balance'.

When I was granted the opportunity to undertake a PhD a feeling of relief was immense. Finally all the hard work that had gone into the application had paid off, but this unfortunately clouded my vision. It was a period of excitement, anxiety and overall indebtedness to the people that had believed in my ability to undertake a doctorate. The feeling of indebtedness and anxiety drove me to work exceptionally long hours for fear of letting down those that has placed so much faith in me. Thus, lack of confidence and the pressure I placed upon myself made a work/life balance very hard indeed. This balance was further complicated by the assumption from those nearest and dearest that as you are essentially a 'student' whilst doing a PhD, you don't need to go to 'work' and therefore are available for all other manner of duties. This period lasted throughout the first year until I realized that continuing in this way would be psychologically unattainable. A balance had to be reached.

A strategy I adopted in order to overcome issues of anxiety and indebtedness on the one hand and social pressures on the other hand was to divide my time into 'office hours' and 'leisure time'. This approach has allowed me to work a consistent and manageable amount of hours per week in order to avoid feeling as though I was 'letting others down', whilst also being able to tell family and friends that "I am at work" to avoid the common perception I was simply sitting at home waiting for the next request to help them move house or go for a drink. In addition, 'office hours' allowed me to accept the idea that there is always more to read and shutting myself away in an outrageous attempt to cover 'everything' was completely unachievable. However, this does not mean I can walk away from 'work' and simply forget about it as I am lacking a 'clocking-off' device in my head.

Overall the PhD is much more than a job; it is part of my life, part of me. It often dominates my thoughts and feelings at the strangest times (jumping up at 4am to write down a 'groundbreaking idea' is particularly annoying when you wake and realise it wasn't that important) yet I wouldn't change it for the world. Although a balance between work and life being tentative, and sometimes impossible (due to deadlines etc); it can be managed to a point whereby the PhD process can be experienced as the enlightening, rewarding and fulfilling process we all dreamt of when applying.

Tags: Work-life balance

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